RED.

I love RED, fucking amazing - Be cool everyone.

Hot as fuck.

It is coming in to summer here in ole New Zealand, and it is hot as fuck - oh my god, and muggy as a mofo, this together with the business that is christmas is going to make the next month a fucker to deal with. Good thing I have you, waiting for me everyday when I get home to take the misery away. My beautiful bottle of RED wine.

Taken for granted.

I'm learning a lesson at the moment.

One of those "you fucking idiot" lessons.

You know.

The stinging hurting type of lesson.

That you don't want to repeat.

But probably will - till it eventually gets through your thick boney skull.

This lesson is called "Taking things for granted".

I've decided this lesson sucks.

Big round ones.

I've taken someone for granted. And my own insecurities have made the situation (personally) worse.

Good one you douche.

Next step? Over react. Play it cool.

Look at past and make informed decision based upon experience?

**sigh**

The Grind.

It is almost time to reinsert myself back in to the grind of workingness.

**BLAH**

I need another week off to gelatinise myself I think.

Take it easy and let life run past me.

So much to do.

Harden up mother fucker harden up!

The Sickness

I'm at the tail end of the flu at the moment. And it has been a real shitter of a ride too.

It all started with that first sniffle, and I knew what was coming...

First of all it was just head coldey. Expect nasal taps to be unleashed, runny eyes and coughs, makes working both unbearable and embarrasing, especially in retail.

The next day I thought I was fine(r), but I wasn't. It hit me about 11.30am and proceeded to slowly fuck me - slow and hard.

I had to leave early.

Got home thinking alcohol would kill it - I'm sure thats just an old fucking execuse to drink piss because that didn't do shit except make me feel worse.

And then the fever came.

Oddly.

I did not sweat.

(Is that still a fever?)

My body temperature went to fucking maximum though.

I lay there hot as shit and started muttering... this is weird because I realise I was doing it... running strings of words together backwards and forwards through my head, over and over.

I also kept passing out and waking up.

Muttering.

Outski.

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Interestingly, my dreams were also as fucked as my unplanned nocturnal activity had turned out, dreams of people vividly screaming my name, and not in a "yeah boi! go hard bro - go hard" type of way, but more like a "WATCH OUT YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!" kind of way.

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Of course, it may not have helped that the "Killing Room" was playing in the background whilst I slept.

Once you're in, there's no way out indeed. Hey thanks for that.

I awoke the next day, and my body was a flesh bag. Sore skin, sore hair...sore fucking everything. I also had a crap head ache and it felt like someone had drawn my eyes on a voodoo dolls privates and someone was having a go at them with one of those fucking long hair pins you see in those 80's films.



All I could really do was lay in bed and sweat. Cough horrible coughs. And try to eat.

Today though, feeling much better - still a bit fucked from it all but getting all good again.

Thank god.

I have work tomorrow.