Mmmmmm! Yummy.
For those of you who are and / or have been, Retail Manager's must go out from time to time for business reasons. I am sure that the most successful people in history went out often and like myself desired fried food the next day.
I guess I should explain how like legions before me, I too have arrived at this wonderful destination.
The organisation that I work for, (The one with 13 retail outlets - I'm telling lies of course to protect the innocent) sells mainly imported cars, some cars are made in New Zealand, but not many. Some cars are even made exclusively for us and thus yield a high gross profit percentage.
Our opposition also sell cars and carry many of the same brands.
In order to attract customers, we must therefore create 'value-added' promotions.
One idea that we are looking at is 'buy six cars and receive a lovely discount', the particular car that we chose, by chance, yielded a very high return for us and thus, seemed like the perfect car to use.
Through digging a little deeper, it appears as though we can actually procure some free hatchback cars from the supplier. I am thinking that this is great. And then it dawns on me, our promotion is based on the larger style SUV's. Why don't we highlight our six pack SUV's at say 15% off, which still yields around a 54 % profit 'AND' give them one of those free hatchback cars as well. That's nuts!
OK - sounds a little too good.
Well, the fact is that we give away the hatchback with a purchase of six hatchbacks, we have the free stock available anyway. All we are doing is switching it over.
I need to talk to the rep about this, and so it begins...
I give her a call (haha-her), she arrives and we decide to head straight to the ba... office to discuss the promotion. We go through the numbers and it looks as though we may be able to get a bit of a better deal. This sounds sweet.
After lengthy discussions, we both agree on the strategy with the free stock and are able procure more, a successful strategy that will no doubt add value to the customers who come through my doors...I mean, gates of the car yard.. I walk the rep to the door, sorry - gates and am about to bid her farewell when all of a sudden she trips I run to catch her, I trip over, we are on a hill, we both tumble down to the bottom, it has been raining so the road is slippery and we end up sliding straight in to a bar in the Viaduct basin. Thank heavens that bar was there to stop us sliding in to the ocean.
We stand and decide to get a drink for our throats have become parched.
As we walk with our drinks, a large table of people point and make waving motions toward us.
It is the dreaded EVILDOERS from across the road.
The All African American ex grid iron/movie star salespeople from OJ's Car Shop!!!!
The Rep had met them earlier in the day and had unexpectantly seen them again, this time though I was standing right next to her.
I was uncomfortable at this stage. Even more so when we were invited to join them at their table. They were in full force, thousands of them, staring in silence, undoubtedly plotting to eviscerate me publicly. The leader of the opposition.
OK, (haha) so there were only about 8 or 9 people and they were through a couple of bottles of wine already and were really nice people.
We sat down chilled, drank and ate. The conversation was lite and everyone was shaking off the shackles of work. We end up staying to closing time, and then cruising to another bar and drinking some more and more and more.
At this stage the rep has left for greener pastures and calls often through the night to see that I am OK (haha).
I am talking to a woman, I have no idea what her name is, she is dressed in red and sips chardonnay from a glass. It's at this stage that I realise we have had our legs grinding in to each other for hours, OK (haha) ten minutes or so, she keeps turning around to see the band and grinds her buttocks and hips in to me, hmmmm?
Nah...?
And then again...
And then again...
The people across from me notice this and make comment to each other, then smile at me.
Shit, I'm in! Sweet!
She apologies, stands and moves toward the bar where another one of the ladies at the table heads her off and buys her a drink.
I'm feeling very inebriated, the stickiness of the Long Island Ice tea that I am drinking now feels as though it is trying to trap my tongue on the roof of my mouth. The couple across from me are looking like they need to find a Hotel room for the night and renew their vows through fluid transfers. Vows that they made years before to their partners.
It's time to make a call and make a move.
We bid farewell, and all proceed to the taxi rank - we all live in different areas of Auckland so sharing is not an option. Bugger.
The woman in the red dress departs.
I grab a taxi and cruise home, at least my cat will be waiting for me, he always does no matter the time.
I get home, the cat is not waiting. I am drunk and in a blurred line of thinking I punish the cat for not meeting me by locking his cat door. haha haha furry prick.
I get in to bed and turn the lights off.
"Meow"
Bastard.
Mmmm, deep fried food...
